


Drop Another Daffodil

by juicywizard



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Bookstore Owner Caleb, Caleb’s past reimagined, Flower Shop Owner Caduceus, M/M, Mentions of Beau/Jester - Freeform, Mentions of Nott/Yeza, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-01-25 20:04:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18581632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juicywizard/pseuds/juicywizard
Summary: Fairy tales weren't Caleb's thing. They weren't meant for him. But what happens if Caleb has a brush with fate, in the form of the pink-haired flower shop owner from across the pavillion?





	1. Chapter 1

Caleb was a meticulous man. He did the same thing nearly every morning, and this day was no different. He got up, stretched in the morning sunlight and groaned as his joints popped, fed his cat and himself, then got ready for the day.

He walked, cat in arms, from his tiny apartment to the bookstore he owned, The Fae King’s Realm. It was named after said cat Frumpkin whom he often said was a fae king in a past life.

Caleb always walked past the flower shop that was across from The Fae King’s Realm in the small brick-paved pavillion they shared. The Clay Pot Flower Shop was a quiet shop, much like every other shop in their pavillion. It was more colorful than the rest, as the flowers brightened that little corner of the pavillion each morning the owner set out his displays.

Caleb would be lying if he didn’t admit that he liked watching the man with the relaxed pink mohawk set out his various displays on his morning walks to work. He would also be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy that Caduceus greeted him each morning with a skritch under Frumpkin’s chin and a friendly “Hello, Mister Caleb!”

Caleb nodded to the man, walking slowly past, watching Caduceus arrange a bouquet of flowers delicately. “ _Hallo_ , Mister Clay. Good morning. Lovely pickings this morning,” Caleb replied. They gave each other a small smile as Caleb continued his route to his own store.

From then, Caleb’s day went on the same as it did usually, with customers trickling in and out steadily for most of the day. Nott, his upstairs tenant, watched the register for him while he completed some of the repairs he’d been commissioned to complete. When the flow of people died down, Caleb relieved Nott from the register.

“Thank you, friend. Your help is very much appreciated.”

Nott gave him a warm smile, like a mother looking at her child, “Oh, of course it is not a problem at all Caleb. I enjoy helping you out, you know.”

“Yes, of course. This is why our arrangement works, _ja_? You help me out here, keep an eye on Frumpkin, and the upstairs is yours,” Caleb replied, grabbing a checklist from beneath the register. He should probably get to reshelving the books on the cart before anything else. Caleb set down the clipboard, and noticed the bright yellow daffodil in a cylindrical glass.

He nodded to the flower, looking at Nott, “What’s this?”

“Oh,” Nott looked in the direction Caleb nodded, and grinned, setting the magazine she had been perusing down, “Mister Clay from the flower shop dropped it off while you were doing repairs. Isn’t it sweet?”

“ _Ja,_ ” Caleb replied, drawing up the memory of the florist from earlier in the morning. He didn’t seem to be setting out any of those.

“Caleb, didn’t you read a book on historical meanings of flowers? What is the meaning of a flower like that? I’m not even sure what kind of flower that is,” Nott said, leaning up over the counter to get a better look at the flower.

“It’s a daffodil, Nott,” Caleb replied, “It has two popular meanings, but both based in desire, either domestic relationship, or just simply friendship.” He thought about what he said, and the thought of the florist sending him a flower with that intention drew a blush to his cheeks. He cleared his throat, “But, I’m sure that’s just part of what had been left over from yesterday’s sales.”

Nott pursed her lips, shook her head, and shrugged, “Well, I don’t know about that, but that Mister Clay is awfully good looking and spends a lot of time staring out his window in this direction.”

Caleb couldn’t help but scoff at the thought, “It’s all in your head, my friend. I’m sure there’s nothing behind any of it. All coincidence.”

Nott laughed and rolled her eyes as she put her magazine away, heading in the direction of the back room, “You don’t give yourself enough credit, Caleb, dear. Such a shame for a handsome man like you. Anyone would be lucky to have you.”

Caleb waved her away as she continued into the back room. He wheeled the cart of books that needed reshelving, gathering and organizing stray books strewn across the small tables and plush chairs. He made his way to the back of the store where he kept his personal favorite section; German classics. It seemed a few people took interest in the books, but decided not to purchase.

As he shelved the small stack of books left on the cart, he heard the soft tinkle of the bell in the front door.

“ _Hallo_ , welcome to The Fae King’s Realm,” he called out, glancing up at the mirror with the view to the entrance and register. The person that entered must have gone past already into the rows of shelves, Caleb thought. He went back to looking through the stack of books he had, found the one he was looking for, and reached up to place it in the correct spot.

His knuckles connected with something - another hand. Caleb looked over, startled, “ _Scheisse!_ ” It took a moment for Caleb to realize it was the florist he and Nott were just discussing. He cleared his throat and smiled tightly, his heart beating out of his chest, “Oh, _hallo_ , Mister Clay. I am sorry, I did not see you there. My apologies for getting in your way.”

Caduceus released the book he had reached for, and gave Caleb a relaxed smile, shrugging, “It’s no problem, Mister Caleb. No harm done. I apologize for startling you.”

He reached up to his face, brushing a stray piece of bright pink hair away that fell from the bun atop his head, and - a dark smudge on the back of his hand? Caleb could have sworn he didn’t see a mark like that when Caduceus was petting Frumpkin that morning. _It is probably dirt,_ Caleb thought, though it very clearly did not look like dirt. It looked the same way Nott’s soulmark, a dark streak on her forehead, did.

“Do you have any suggestions?” Caduceus asked, breaking Caleb from his thoughts, “I’m not much of a reader but… I’m trying to broaden my horizons a bit outside of plants and cookbooks.”

Caleb grabbed a few of the books on the cart and tightened one arm around them, thinking for a moment while trying to fight the invading curiosities about Caduceus’ soulmark. He had to mentally shake himself out of the thought pattern and cleared his throat, “Well, what sort of topics are you interested in or would like to learn about? I hold mostly fiction here but I do have some, though obscure, nonfiction books.”

Caleb nodded to the small shelf behind Caduceus that looked to be collecting some dust, much to Caleb’s chagrin. Not many people shared his love for obscure texts.

“What is your favorite genre? Maybe I could try that and go from there,” Caduceus replied, reaching out to grab the top book on Caleb’s pile, forcing Caleb to loosen his grip on the books so Caduceus could take it. “Is this one any good?”

Caleb took note of the book Caduceus grabbed, which was a modern rendition of popular German fairy tales, along with that _damned mark_ that had mysteriously appeared on Caduceus’ hand. The man didn’t even seem to notice it himself.

“That’s not-” Caleb began, trying to figure out how to respond. Fairy tales weren’t Caleb’s thing. They weren’t meant for him. “I mean, yes that is a good book, though not my preferred genre. But I don’t think you would like the same kind of books I like to indulge in. I’m sure you would enjoy that book,” he said.

Caduceus seemed to think for a moment, and raised the book slightly with his gesture as he replied, “I’ll take this one then. Do you mind if I check out now? I should be getting back to tending to the daffodils.”

Caleb froze, watching as Caduceus slowly made his way to the register. Caleb forced himself to nod and follow behind Caduceus to the register, replying, “Oh, so you’ve been caring for daffodils? You nurse plants back to health, correct?”

“Yeah,” Caduceus nodded, “I’ve been working with the botanical garden to figure out what’s going on with their daffodils.” He pointed to the flower on the counter, “Oh, I was hoping Nott would give that to you. I’m glad you got it. I got to keep a few of them for myself. I thought you’d appreciate it.”

Caleb couldn’t help the small pull of a smile at the corners of his mouth, “Yes, I do appreciate the gesture, Mister Clay. Your flowers are certainly a pleasure to see every morning. I’m happy to have a piece of that in my bookstore.”

He took the book from Caduceus, and scanned the barcode. The machine beeped angrily at him, and Caleb looked down at the book and scanner, trying to figure out what went wrong. Instead, he found a dark smudge starting from just before his second knuckle on his middle and ring finger, down to the third knuckle, fading as it went.

Caleb’s heart felt like it seized right there and then in the middle of The Fey King’s Realm. He could feel his breathing get heavy and labored, throat closing up with each breath.

“Mister Caleb, are you alright?” Caleb heard Caduceus’ voice break through his panic, and Caleb nodded automatically.

“Fine, fine. Um,” Caleb forced himself to take a deep, shaky breath, “ _Verdammt_ thing glitches out sometimes… Go ahead and just take that one. As a thank you for the lovely flower, _ja_?”

The smile that grew on Caduceus’ face made Caleb’s stomach drop, and Caleb white-knuckled the scanner until he dropped it into its cradle, then offered the book out to the man.

“Really? That’s nice, much appreciated, Mister Caleb,” Caduceus said, taking the book from Caleb.

“Think nothing of it, Mister Clay. Thank you for the daffodil,” Caleb replied, watching as Caduceus held the book to his chest and made his way out the door, and back over to his own shop. It was silent for a moment as Caleb’s heart beat loudly in his chest.

Then, Nott’s voice rang out in the empty store, “What the _hell_ was that, Caleb?”

\-------  
The next day, Caleb could not bring himself to rise out of bed, the weight of his thoughts and the mark on his knuckles feeling like a thousand Frumpkins on his chest. He considered his options, one being go in to work today and have to face Caduceus (and his own feelings).

Or, more painfully, that he go into work today and not see Caduceus, who would have seen the mark on the back of his hand, put the pieces together and decided that Caleb was not enough. Caleb resolved to just not go in to work, skipping either of those possibilities altogether.

_Caleb: Nott, I am not feeling well, I will have to ask you to open for me today. Possibly close as well._

_Nott: Okay, Caleb. Are you going to tell me about what happened yesterday?_

_Caleb: I’d rather not._

_Nott: Mister Clay is out again today… He looks very nice. He’s even dressed nicer than usual and seems to have cleaned up his facial hair._

 

Caleb’s heart twinged, thinking of Caduceus dressed up and groomed, waiting outside his shop for Caleb to walk by. He couldn’t bare the thought of facing Caduceus now, with how cowardly Caleb was acting.

_Caleb: Thank you for taking care of the shop, Nott. I’m going back to bed. Please only call me if our building is on fire._

 

He threw his phone across the bed, his thoughts slowly building weight in his mind. Thoughts of how he was afraid of what could be and of what could be ruined. Caleb didn’t want to face either of those possibilities, stuck between being afraid to face his long-held thought that he wouldn’t have a soulmate, that he was too broken after what happened to his family, and being rejected by the person he secretly admired from afar for years but kept farther than arm’s length for obvious reasons.

This became routine for Caleb for days after.

And on the sixth day, he receives a picture message from Nott: a single daffodil with a small card attached, _“From, Caduceus.”_


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, Caleb forced himself out of bed and threw himself into his regular routine. His joints popped as he stretched, dragged himself to the kitchen to feed Frumpkin and himself, then got ready for the day, body heavy with trepidation.

 

His walk to the pavillion was quiet, empty of the sounds of his cat, having left Frumpkin at home since the weather dropped lower than it had the previous week. Caleb rubbed his hands together as he came to the intersection where typically he would go left, which would lead him to his regular path past the Clay Pot Flower Shop. Instead, he went right, taking the longer way around the square. He decided he couldn’t bear to be confronted with what happened between them, how cowardly Caleb had acted by running away instead of confronting it.  
  
Though, Caleb also decided that the marks were somehow a mistake, that they weren’t meant to be soulmates and that some ethereal being was playing a joke on them.   
  
He walked all the way to the other side of the pavillion, around the back of the buildings and came into it on the opposite side as the Clay Pot Flower Shop. Caleb couldn’t help but look in that direction, and his heart hurt a bit to find that Caduceus was not out setting his daily wares. _It’s probably just the weather,_ Caleb thought to himself, unwilling to think Caduceus’s absence was because of him. Still, Caleb could not ignore the pain in his chest at not seeing Caduceus the same way he has each day, and wondered if this is how the other man felt when Caleb didn’t walk by.

 

Caleb made it into The Fae King’s Realm finally, finding the door unlocked already, and saw Nott at the register. She must have thought he wasn’t coming in again because he was late from taking the long way.  Beau, their mutual friend, leaning on the counter across from Nott, gave Caleb a wave.  
  
“Long time, no see, you foreign bastard,” Beau came up and clapped him on the shoulder, “Welcome back from your wallow in self pity!”   
  
Caleb opened his mouth to protest before Beau jutted her thumb out in Nott’s direction. He glared at Nott, “Nott, what are you telling people?”

 

She shrugged sheepishly, and gathered up the papers at the register. “I’m sorry, Caleb. I was just so worried about you after whatever it was that happened. You usually talk to me about what’s troubling you. I thought maybe I could get Beau to check up on you while I was here. But, now you’re here, so you can tell me all about it, right?”

 

Caleb would have rolled his eyes at anyone else, but doing that to Nott would have been like doing that to his mother. “Nott, I appreciate your worry, but I am fine. There is nothing going on. I do not go around talking about your personal business which I know about, do I?”

 

Caleb had to lower his voice toward the end as a customer walked in, and Nott greeted them with a smile. She pointed that smile to Caleb, and it softened apologetically. They both knew what Caleb had been referring to.

 

* * *

 

One night after closing long ago, when Nott first moved in, they got drunk and got on the topic of the past. Caleb spoke about the fate of his family in Germany, who had perished in a house fire when he was a teen; he also told Nott that night how difficult it was to adjust to American life with his relatives after that.

 

In return, Nott told him about her soulmate, Yeza, and about how she was separated from him with no way to contact him after finding out he got caught up with dangerous people. “We were separated for our protection,” Nott told him, taking a long swig from the bottle of liquor she held, and touched her soulmark as she spoke, “But the twisted part of it all is that we touched for the first time, the last time we saw each other. He brushed my hair from my face, and told me we’d see each other again someday…”

 

Tears had formed in her eyes and she wiped them away as she continued talking, “He was the one that noticed our soulmark first. It’s not hard to notice a big, black mark on someone’s forehead. And when he saw his mark on his thumb…” She held back a sob, and Caleb found himself pulling her in to him. Caleb later learned that this was the last time she and Yeza were together.

 

“We will find him, my friend. I will find some way to help you find your soulmate,” He said, his own eyes watering as he listened to her sobs, fading into the night as they drank.

 

* * *

 

Caleb shucked his coat off as he headed to the back room, where he got to work on the repairs he had been neglecting all week.

 

Repairing books is a niche service that many modern book sellers do not provide, and that Caleb prided himself in mastering. Through the several years Caleb has owned The Fae King’s Realm, he has made a name for himself in the local classic and rare book collecting circles. It’s made him a bit of money throughout the years, and it helped him quickly buy the building for which The Fae King’s Realm resides.

 

It was a skill he learned from his uncle, who brought his trade from Germany to America many years ago, and now Caleb continued the tradition. He enjoyed how methodical, and almost mindless it could be when you really started to know what you were doing. Caleb continued to work until the early afternoon, when Nott walked into the back room and cleared her throat, “Um, Caleb? Sorry to interrupt but there’s someone here to see you.”

 

Caleb looked up from the book he had been applying paste to, and nodded, _“Ja,_ okay.” He finished what he was doing, and set the book properly before heading out into the main area of the bookstore. Caleb wiped his hands on a rag he had grabbed, thinking this would be someone he might have to shake hands with, maybe another commission for a damaged book.

 

Instead, when he looked up from inspecting his hands, he found Caduceus standing at the register. _Sheisse,_ he thought, heart jumping at the sight.

 

“Ah, _hallo,_ Mister Clay,” Caleb forced himself to smile as he approached, trying desperately to quell the beating in his chest.

 

Caduceus turned around, appearing to have been in the middle of a conversation with Beau, who had been gesturing to her soulmark, a smudge just above her elbow. Caleb squinted in Beau’s direction, wishing he could ask what they were talking about.

 

“Hi, Mister Caleb. I brought you some—“ Caduceus turned back to the counter and picked up a full bouquet of daffodils. Caleb’s stomach dropped, they were such a beautiful sight. Caduceus continued, “I brought you some flowers… Miss Nott was explaining to me earlier this week that you had fallen ill. I didn’t see you walk past the shop this morning, so I figured I would drop them off in hopes you’d be in.”

 

Caduceus held out the bouquet, and Caleb reached out for it, careful to hold it by the bottom since the container was glass. Their fingers brushed, and they looked up at each other, Caleb feeling his cheeks get warm and likely blush. He pulled away, taking the bouquet from Caduceus.

 

“Thank you,” Caleb said, clearing his throat and trying to wish away the electricity that shuttered through him after the touch. He looked up at Caduceus, who looked like he’d just been gut-punched, but the look passed into a gentle smile.

 

Caleb wished he could say something to console the man, anything to let him know that this will pass, that the marks are a fluke and that Caduceus will find his real soulmate because Caleb isn’t meant to have one.

 

But even that thought pained Caleb, it forms a lump in his throat that makes it difficult to swallow. All Caleb could do was offer a small smile before walking to the counter and setting the flowers down.

 

They locked eyes again, both seeming to want to say something, but unable to get the words out, and the silence between them grows. It’s only second, but it feels like eons where they had just been staring at each other.

 

Until Beau cleared her throat, and that jolted both of them from their gaze. “Um, yeah… so, pretty flowers, Caduceus. I was thinking of going over to your shop to get some flowers for Jes, like we were talking about. Mind if I head over there in a few?” She asked, looking from Caleb, to Caduceus, then back to Caleb. Caleb could tell by the look on Beau’s face she was going to want details on whatever just happened.

 

“Oh,” Caduceus sighed, a pink flush appearing high on his cheeks, “Yes, of course. I should be getting back to the shop anyhow.”

 

He turned to Caleb and gave a small smile, “Well, I’m glad you are back, Caleb. You certainly have been missed— around here, I mean.”

  
  
Caduceus went to gather the book he’s purchased, which Caleb recognized from the small collection of strange nonfiction he kept. He had referenced that as his favorite genre a week before to the man, and Caleb wondered if Caduceus was picking a book like that for his sake. Caleb shook the thought away, and looked to the man as he started talking again.

 

“Actually, Mister Caleb, there was something I needed to talk to you about,” Caduceus raised his hands slightly and touched the mark on the back of his own hand. Caleb was _not ready_ for this conversation.

 

The bell to the front door tinkled as a few customers filed in, and Caleb breathed a sigh of relief. “Ah, I’m sorry, Mister Clay. I really should be getting back to work. Thank you for the Daffodils, though. They brighten this shop well,” Caleb said, effectively shutting down the conversation.

 

Caduceus gave a dejected look in Caleb’s direction before sighing himself. “Right,” he said, tightening the book in his hand, and turned to Beau, “ Well, Miss Beau, you’re more than welcome to peruse my flowers whenever you’d like.”

 

Beau gave Caduceus a small, awkward salute before the man exited the store.

 

It was quiet for a moment, and Caleb hoped it might stay that way forever.

 

“Dude,” Beau exclaimed in a half-whisper, “What the _fuck_ was that?”

 

Caleb tore his gaze from the door and looked to Beau incredulously, “What? I don’t know what you mean.” But he did know what Beau meant. They all did.

  


“You are such a dumb, German shit, you know that?” Beau said, just about gritting her teeth. “People would kill to be with their soulmates and you’re just pushing yours away!”

 

Caleb pursed his lips and turned away from Beau, unable to face the truth. He gathered some stray books that littered the counter and set them onto the reshelving cart.  Caleb could hear the whispers between Nott and Beau before Nott raised her voice, and said, “Caleb, dear… I don’t fully understand what is going on here but if this man is your soulmate, and you have your soulmark, why would you try to deny that?”

 

Caleb shook his head, the lump forming in his throat again, “It is not what you think, my friend. A misunderstanding. Maybe in another lifetime we were, but certainly not this one. It is a mistake.”

 

 _Caduceus is better off forgetting about this whole thing,_ Caleb thought. _I may have some sort of feelings for this man but certainly I do not deserve to be fated to him._

  
He managed to bat away any further questions from the two women, until Beau got angry and stormed out of the store. Caleb watched as she walked across the pavilion and straight into Caduceus’s shop. _Verdammt._

 

* * *

 

Later that evening, when Caleb is settled into bed and looking at articles about people who believed their marks were a mistake, he can only find cases where eventually those people found they were with their soulmate. This did not help Caleb’s argument, and only made the hurt in his heart grow stronger. He set the phone down, unable to look at more evidence this was meant to be.

 

What if this wasn’t a mistake? What if they _were_ fated to be together? How badly could Caleb mess things up? What if he gets everyone’s hopes up, and then ruins everything? What if — Caleb’s racing thoughts were interrupted by the buzzing of his phone.

 

Caleb picked it back up, and found a text from a new group chat between Nott, Beau, and himself. He sighed loudly, ever annoyed by the existence of group chats, before unlocking his phone to read the texts.

 

_Beau: Caleb, I went over to Clay Pot after you pissed me off today._

 

_Nott: What happened?? Caduceus is in love with Caleb, right?_

 

 _Caleb: I assure you there’s_ nothing _going on here. Continue with your regularly scheduled drooling over your own soulmate, Beauregard._

 

_Nott: :O You think he’s your soulmate??_

 

_Beau: Nott, get with the program! I told you that’s what was probably the deal with them._

 

Caleb had to set the phone down for a moment to take a deep breath to compose himself. Why were his friends like this?

 

_Caleb: No, it is clearly a mistake and I am doing research for evidence of false soulmates or fluke soulmarks._

 

 _Beau: Idk, Caleb. Caduceus seemed pretty into the idea of it, what with him looking at his every five seconds. He couldn’t_ not _talk about you the whole time I was there. He’s got a crush._

 

_Nott: :O Caleb, you need to talk with him!! You’ve had a crush on him since he set up shop in the pavilion!_

 

_Caleb: I’m not having this conversation again. Someone like me does not deserve a soulmate._

 

There’s a lengthy pause after he sent the text, and Caleb figured that was the end of it. He hooked his phone up to the bedside charger and set his alarm for the morning. Just as he was about to lock his phone and set it down for the night, he got a private text from Nott.

 

_Nott: If Trent has a soulmate, you, of all people, deserve one too._

 

_Caleb: Do not go there, Nott. I know where you live._

 

And with that, he set the phone down, closed his eyes, and tried not to think of Caduceus as he drifted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Phoenix and a close friend for acting as beta. Please leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed! 
> 
> Also, I made a Spotify playlist for this fic:
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/user/kittenslisten/playlist/2pSXYcoPASbS6lQ4iPfQFS?si=KV1Z5Da_RNSbVtdu1Pmpog


	3. Chapter 3

The next day, Caleb can’t remember which woke him up first: the blaring ringtone of the opening of Liar by Queen, or Frumpkin’s paws landing square on his eyes.

 

“ _Scheisse! Verdammt_ cat,” Caleb said out loud, groggy from sleep. He picked Frumpkin up and put him on the bed next to him before reaching for his phone, which was still ringing.

 

“ _Hallo?_ ” Caleb said, not needing to look at who it was, the ringtone was assigned to Beau by Jester when she found out he used one stock ringtone. Jester also assigned ringtones for everyone in their friend group, including herself, for which she assigned I Want Candy by Bow Wow Wow.

 

“Hey, um, what the hell was up with your text last night? The ‘Someone like me doesn’t deserve a soulmate’ text?” Beau’s voice blared through the phone and Caleb had to pull the speaker back a bit. He sighed, had really hoped the subject would be dropped. But Caleb should have learned by now with Beau that was not an easy feat.

 

Caleb let out a defeated sigh, and mumbled, “I only speak truth, Beauregard. I have a past that I have chosen not to share with most. It is for the better, but I think these marks are a mistake.”

  
  
“ _Bullshit,_ these marks aren’t a mistake. They’re like, destiny, or some shit,” Beau replied, “Do you think I didn’t try every excuse in the book to believe Jes and I weren’t soulmates? It’s kind of hard not to believe it when you get a literal _mark_ on you when you touch your soulmate.”

  
Caleb went silent for a moment, thinking back to how many articles he went through that couldn’t give evidence of false soulmarks. Hell, even some articles mentioned studies that found a possible link to the marks being rooted in biochemistry, about how the cells in the skin responsible for pigmentation flip to the “on” position once in contact with your soulmate. The research on how the body knows they were your soulmate is still vague, but there were enough testimonial evidences to suggest that there certainly was something to it.

 

“I don’t want to have this conversation Beauregard. It’s an unfortunate fact that Caduceus would be better off forgetting about me,” Caleb said, wiping the sleep from his eyes. It was certainly too damn early to be having this conversation.

  
“Ugh!” Beau interjected, then continued, “You try telling that to him. He’s pretty certain you’re it, Widogast. If you’re gonna break the man’s heart, do it sooner rather than later.”

 

Caleb sighed softly, gathering his resolve, “Fine, I suppose I will have to face this eventually. Goodbye, Beauregard.”

  
  
“Bye, idiot.” 

* * *

 

Caleb made his way to the shop earlier that morning than he usually would, he needed to push himself into something while he worked up the courage to go talk to Caduceus. He prepared the day’s orders, shelved the new book shipments, tidied up everywhere until Nott came down from her apartment through the backroom.

  
  
“Good morning, Caleb. You’re here early,” Nott said, yawning as she stepped behind the register. Caleb heard the register drawer opening, then the jostle of change and bills as Nott filled the register for the day.

  
  
“ _Hallo,_ Nott,” Caleb said back, not bothering to turn around from the shelves he was wiping down. Truthfully, he was upset with her at the comment from the day before. _If Trent has a soulmate, you, of all people, deserve one too._

  
  
Caleb couldn’t help but scoff at the comment. With everything she knew of Caleb’s situation, he would have thought his friend would not bring up the topic it took Caleb over a year to bring up. Over a year of fielding questions about his past for the sake of Nott’s own curiosity.

* * *

  
  
It was a little over a year since Nott had moved in above The Fae King’s Realm. Nott had brought down a bottle of whiskey for them to share as they sat and talked in the big armchairs that lived in a corner of the store.

  
  
That night, after many swigs of whiskey, Caleb finally felt comfortable to answer when Nott asked about his past again.

  
  
“Back in Germany, though I was young, I fell in with the wrong crowd,” Caleb started, his German accent thick now with the alcohol sticking in his mouth. “There was this… Gang, almost, that I and two of my close friends got wrapped up in.”

  
  
He took a moment to gather himself, it wasn’t an easy topic for Caleb to talk about, but he trusted Nott, with what she’s shared with him and with how close they had been throughout the past year. He felt like her loyalty deserved to be noted in some way.

  
  
“Trent was the leader. He was much older than we all were, had a soulmark here,” Caleb mimed brushing his thumb against his own cheek, just under the left eye.  “But, he thought that using us younger children to go around wreaking havoc might help him in this campaign he was building… It had something to do with local government but he lead us to believe that we were doing something important, that by us doing what he asked, it would lead to some sort of better life where we lived.”

  
  
Nott had just sat there in silence, listening, taking in all she could, Caleb took another swig of the whiskey and continued, “It got to a point where we were doing things that were very much against the law. Graffitti, pickpocketing, things of the like… Then, it grew to fires.”

  
  
Caleb swallowed thickly, his words getting lost. It had been so long ago and he went to therapy for all of this. He hoped that it would have been easier to talk about now, but it never did get easier.

  
  
“I had only been hanging around with them for a few months. I had started to notice many of the teenagers we knew did not live with their families. Never talked about them or anything, and they all lived in this large building together that Trent owned. It never struck me as odd, I was a teenager who was going through a rebellious streak.”

  
  
He took the phrasing the therapist used, made it his own and wore it as a shield. It was the best explanation Caleb had to what happened next.

  
  
“It was time for my initiation, and no one explained to you what you had to do. Either you did it, or bad things happened. Kids disappeared sometimes after their initiation, so I was scared, but thought it couldn’t have been that bad. Just get kicked out of the group or something.

  
  
“So one night, they tell me it’s time for my initiation. They put a blindfold on myself and my two other friends and drive us somewhere. This older teenager threw this powder into our face once our blindfolds came off, didn’t give us the chance to look around. He pointed at the building beside us, then at the gas cans and said ‘ _Brenn 'Es nieder.’_ So we did.”

  
  
He had started crying at this point, tears leaking from his eyes, down his cheeks and dripping onto the thick scarf around his neck. Nott stood up quickly, grabbing a few tissues from behind the register and gave a few to Caleb and kept one for herself.

  
  
“Go on, Caleb. It’s alright,” Nott urged, tears welling in her own eyes.

  
  
“I didn’t realize until the haze cleared, and I looked up at the fire blazing, completely _verschlungen_ by the flames,” Caleb continued, unable to find some of his words in English and reverting to German. “It was my home, Nott. I could hear the sirens coming closer, and the screams of my parents inside. There was nothing I could do, but I burned my house down _with my parents inside_.”

* * *

  
Caleb heard footsteps approaching, and a hand on his shoulder. He wiped a tear forming in his eye from the memory, and turned around to find Nott looking apologetic.

  
  
“Caleb, I’m sorry for what I said last night. It was unfair of me to bring that up,” Nott said, giving a small sigh as she released Caleb’s shoulder to rub her hands together.

  
  
She continued, “I only meant that you are one of the nicest, most intelligent people I know, and you have suffered and paid in kind for what really wasn’t your fault. You, out of anyone I know, deserve to be loved. That is all I meant.”

 

Caleb pursed his lips together and let out a long sigh through his nose. “Well,” he began, trying to gather his words and figure out how to respond without hurting her feelings. He cared about Nott’s feelings, and he knew she only meant the best for him. But some things should be left alone. “I accept your apology, Nott. Thank you. I disagree with what your intended message was. But thank you for the sentiments.”  


He stepped past Nott, not wanting to see her reaction, his chest tightening with the lump in his throat making it hard for him to swallow. Caleb took the cleaning supplies to the back room, and allowed himself a few moments to breathe and collect himself. Maybe in another life he’d be a happier, more carefree person; maybe he’d be someone who could revel in the idea that he has a _soulmate_ and that he found the one he’s destined to be with, and that nothing could taint that for him. But Caleb was tainted, and everything he touched also became tainted. Quite literally in the fact that Caduceus now bared his mark.

 

_Caduceus,_ Caleb thought, cursing to himself as he remembered how he needed to talk to the man about everything. About how Caduceus needed to let this go and move on. Caleb took a shaky breath, steeling himself before walking out into the front of the store.

  
  
“Nott?” He called out, not seeing her at the register.

  
  
“I’m putting books away,” She called from a corner.

  
  
“I’m going out for a few minutes. Please open by 9 if you could,” Caleb called out again, and once he heard her reply, he stepped outside into the pavilion.

  
  
Each step to the Clay Pot Flower Shop filled Caleb with dread. His feet felt heavy, his heart even moreso. Did he really want to do this? Tell Caduceus off and that it would be in his best interest to just go on his own and forget about Caleb?

  
  
He had to, for Caduceus’s sake. Or, that’s what Caleb told himself as he forced one foot in front of the other. Caleb looked up at the storefront of the flower shop, and there he was.

  
  
Caduceus Clay, in the window, bent over a display of flowers. His long pink hair flowed over his shoulder, and Caleb’s heart jolted at the thought of running his hands through the pink locks. Caduceus truly was a handsome man, clearly since Caleb had been secretly pining for him since the man moved in to the apartment above the flower shop, then took over the shop once the old owner passed.   


Caleb couldn’t move, stuck in front of the flower shop of his soulmate, absolutely enraptured by how _stunning_ Caduceus was. His heart in his throat, he began to feel his anxiety welling up, taking over his body and freezing him in this moment. What is he about to do? He can’t bear to do this to his soulmate, he didn’t want to break the man’s heart and let him down.

 

But, again, Caleb took a few breaths, forced himself to calm down, and took those extra few steps until his shaky hands pushed against the door. The bell tinkled at his entrance, and Caleb watched as Caduceus set his things down before turning around, “I’ll be right with y-- oh, hello, Mister Caleb.”

 

Caleb stood there, unable to form words, until, “ _Hallo,_ Mister Clay. I’ve come to… Have a talk with you. If that’s alright?”

  
  
And _god,_ the way Caduceus’s beaming smile broke Caleb’s heart. He was so open and honest about his emotions. Caleb only dreamed he could do the same.

 

“Of course, Caleb,” Caduceus said, gesturing toward behind the register counter with the hand that carried their soulmark. Caleb’s resolve crumbled a bit, some selfish part of himself preening at the thought of Caduceus with _his_ soulmark.

 

Caleb followed the gesture, wringing his hands as he leaned himself against the counter, and watched as Caduceus did the same on the opposite side.

  
  
“I think there has been a misunderstanding,” Caleb finally said, after moments of silence, trying to find the words.

 

Caduceus looked at him, cocking his head to the side, and giving a lopsided smile before replying, “I’m not sure what you mean.”

  
  
“These marks that we seem to have given each other. I believe this might be a mistake. Ah,” Caleb looked down at the floor as he said the next part, “I assure you, it is nothing you have done, for it is all on me. You are just the unfortunate recipient of my soulmark. I apologize.”

  
  
He heard Caduceus chuckle, and Caleb felt a blush creep up his neck. _Why is he laughing? Is this some joke to him?_ Caleb couldn’t help but think, mind racing at the different possibilities.

 

Caduceus took a step forward, into Caleb’s space, forcing him to straighten up and look at the taller man. Caduceus, still smiling, just stared down at Caleb for what seemed like an eternity, making Caleb’s skin crawl with anticipation before Caduceus finally spoke.

 

“These marks, they aren't just coincidence. They are gifts from the gods and they are a sign you are on the right path. It doesn’t matter if you’re good or bad, or whatever you may _think_ you are. But it’s fate.”

 

Caleb was quick to reply, “I don’t believe in fate, Mister Clay.”

 

Caduceus kept smiling, but raised a hand to brush at Caleb’s jaw, up to a stray piece of hair that fell into Caleb’s face and brushed it behind his ear. “Maybe I’ll have to prove it to you,” Caduceus said softly, in his low tone that made Caleb melt.

 

The taller man moved closer, close enough to easily press their bodies together against the counter. Close enough that Caleb is sure Caduceus can feel his pounding heart in his chest and an interest in _other places_ that Caleb doesn’t want to think about. But he’s here, close enough to kiss Caduceus, or more likely, for Caduceus to kiss him.

  
  
He wanted to move, to get out of dodge, shrink away from the attention Caduceus is giving him. But another part of him wanted to bask in it, and he finds himself stuck again, there under the watchful eye of Caduceus.

  
  
Caduceus leaned closer, impossibly closer, their lips just centimeters apart. Caleb could feel his hot breath against his own mouth, and found his lips falling open, wanton and mindless.

  
  
And just before Caduceus has time to close that gap, the bell above the front door tinkles, and the two of them are apart in an instance. Caleb’s whole body sagged, breathing in heavily as he looked over to Caduceus, who looked flushed and annoyed as he walked to the customer in question.

  
  
“Hey, welcome to Clay Pot, what’re you looking for today?” Caleb heard from the other side of the counter as he dipped below to sit on the ground and catch his breath.

 

His mind cleared after a moment there on the ground, listening to Caduceus’s soft voice in the background, his brain wandering to the way Caduceus’s cheeks flushed after they were so close. And how Caleb wanted to see that kind of pink on Caduceus again.

  
  
_Those are dangerous thoughts for someone trying to distance themselves,_ Caleb told himself.

  
  
Before he knew it, he was off the ground and heading for the door, with Caduceus calling after him, “Caleb, please wait a minute!”

  
  
Caleb just continued back to The Fae King’s Realm, bypassing Nott’s curious gaze, and headed straight for the backroom.

 

He sank into the seat at his desk, shedding his coat and scarf before folding his arms on the desk and burying his face into them.

 

In the darkness, the realization that Caleb may be in too deep began to sink in. And it absolutely _terrified_ him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Phoenix and another friend of mine for acting as beta :) 
> 
> Playlist for this fic updated:  
> https://open.spotify.com/user/kittenslisten/playlist/2pSXYcoPASbS6lQ4iPfQFS?si=NKjEany0QkGWFaxpCxKXMA

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Vi and Phoenix for acting as beta, and thanks to the clayleb server that lead me to the beauty that is "flower shop au." This is my first dip into long-form fic so I hope everyone likes this first chapter!
> 
> Title taken from Daffodils by Mark Ronson ft. Kevin Parker.


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